Welcome back to my blog! Happy Holidays :)
A lot has happened since I last wrote to you all, including spending a lovely two weeks in Kathmandu going to lectures, film festivals, and art galleries, buying gifts for family and friends at a ceramics shop in an ancient town (this has a cool story I'll share later on in the post ), finalizing plans for my future internship with PHASE Nepal, and meeting with family, friends, activists, and NGO workers. At one point during my stay in Kathmandu I was in a room of women where I was the only one who hadn't summited Everest! I had many warm Dal Bhaat (rice and vegetables) meals with my grandmother as the Bollywood songs from the TV blared in the background. I treated myself almost daily with Cafe Lattés at Western cafes, lemon tart from the local German bakery, and lots of foods I craved while eating rice and spinach in the village. Whenever I go to Kathmandu, I always have a good busy time, meeting as many people, going to as many events, and eating as much good food as I can...
Since I’ve returned to my village Bhotenamlang I’ve moved to a new homestay with windowpanes so I don’t get bronchitis again (This was quite the ordeal at my old homestay….My bed was positioned between two gaping windows with cold air blowing in all night.. After a minor panic (and 5 visits to different hospitals) thinking I had contracted Tuberculosis I was diagnosed with Bronchitis and a harmless Dust Mite Allergy... not as dramatic sounding....But at least I'm healthy and back to breathing normally!) After my move to a new house and new part of the village I had to adjust. The first few days of transitioning from city to village life are always mentally disorienting... It can feel like I lead a "double life". My pace of life in the bustling, vibrant Kathmandu is as far as you can get from my relaxed pace of life as a village teacher/anthropologist . This time the transition wasn't just the city/village transition, but also of being in a new household. Though a bit mentally disorienting, it's exciting to be positioned in a new part of town, discover new trails to hike, find a different way to gape in awe at the incredible Himalayan mountain range, and mostly meet people you've never crossed paths with. I've found a new tea shop to frequent, have established a new morning routine, and found new folks to make smalltalk and profound talk with... I think it's good to uproot yourself every once in a while and see life from a different perspective... even if it is just a 15 minute walk from where you previously were!
Despite my homesickness during Christmas, I had an unexpectedly lovely time. For Christmas Eve I treated myself with a Netflix movie, warm socks, some phone calls to family, and a few pieces of chocolate. The next day I celebrated Christmas at the village church (built by missionary Koreans a few years back); it was quite something to spend the day dancing and singing to Nepali Christmas songs with fellow villagers and friends. I even gave a speech HAHA....Truly a Christmas I'll never forget. It was interesting to observe the tension between Christians and Buddhists/Hindus in the village on Christmas day. It usually ends up being some type of cast dispute. The Dalits, or "untouchables", tend to favor Christianity because of its egalitarianism and lack of caste system. Most Brahmins and others higher up in the caste system tend to see Christianity as a challenge and threat to their authority. While I was enjoying the festivities, I took note of this tension and informally interviewed people to better understand the conflict. I often find myself at social, political, or cultural events, both being a participant and a sort of anthropologist trying to piece different parts together. For New Years Eve I'll be spending my day with some Gurung folks, an ethnic group of Himalayan peoples. They have a special festival party called Lhosar which I plan to attend and document.
Maybe I'm contradicting myself, but I'm also very busy in the village... but in a different way from Kathmandu-busy. I only do what I want to do.... I'm busy with self assigned homework! Among them is doing a photo-journalism project documenting stories and posting them on my blog or some other platform, writing a piece about how food is sourced in a village for a friend who works at a Nepali newspaper, reading a whole stack of non-fiction and fiction books and studies, applying to SOAS at University of London, journalling daily, and managing my library project at the school...More updates on that in a few days; I will write a separate blog post about this :)
I’m being challenged constantly both emotionally and intellectually (at times physically too… the mountainous terrain here is not so forgiving). I'm thinking a lot about global challenges and how to tackle them from a grassroots and community approach. How do you engage a community in their own empowerment? What does "development" mean? How do you do it ethically and responsibly? How can I be a more mindful volunteer and learner? How can I make my impact on this community a sustainable one? How can I develop my library project in a way that will benefit the students and their families as much as possible? I'm trying to reflect as much as I can- on things I did well and things that were culturally insensitive or badly done. I'm acknowledging that my presence here wouldn't be required if systemic inequality and poverty weren't a thing. I'm acknowledging that I'm here to teach English to students who often don't even speak their own ethnic language. There's so many intricacies-social, political, and economic-to my presence here. Sometimes, I doubt whether being here will really amount to anything. It's easy to get discouraged when it seems like the world's issues are so massive and institutional. But I have to remind myself that even if one student gains something from me being here, that is still a success. And if that isn't the case just by experiencing life here it has changed my entire worldview. That in and of itself is enough for this to have been successful.
Strangely, I feel like due to the intense proximity I have here with global challenges such as illiteracy, poor health, poverty, and women's lack of autonomy over their bodies, livelihood, and lives I am drawn to spending more time than I did at home on social media and reality TV! I tell myself watching Keeping up With the Kardashians is self care to help "self medicate" the intense feelings of encountering these issues on such a personal level. But to be completely honest with myself.... it is a bad type of self care... I want to channel these feelings into productive arenas such as increasing my time journaling or hiking. I don't want to waste any moments... Time is fleeting...in total I only have 7 weeks left of living in Bhotenamlang! I am trying to be as focused, present, and as open as I can.
I’ve also had some surreal, magical memories that seem straight out of a movie. Among them are going to a ceramics shop in the ancient town of Thimi, an overlooked-by-tourists, well preserved Newar settlement. The shop has an attached factory where all the pottery is made by hand by skilled local artisans. Michelle Obama actually ordered dinner table sets for the White House from the pottery shop! The ceramics place is internationally acclaimed and ships regularly to Japan, Italy, Germany, Britain, and the US. The owner is a soft-spoken Newar man; after I spoke to him in Newari he was shocked that a foreigner could speak the language of his people! HA. He ended up giving me an exclusive tour of the cooperative factory. Others consist of meeting with various people I admire, going to the Kathmandu International Mountain Film Festival, going to Farmers Markets, going to gallery openings, and taking motorbike taxis with a new app similar to Uber! SOooo many good memories... but my fingers are freezing from the cold village air as I type so I will keep it at that!
I’ve been accepting both the positive and the negative, the ups and downs, the yin and yang, as they come and go, holding all the moments together, knowing that these are unforgettable friendships, memories, and lessons I will always look back on favorably. I have a strong feeling this experience will be (and already very much is) one of the most, if not the most, incredible, intense, and character-building ones of my life. I imagine myself as an old creaky grandma sitting at a fire knitting a scarf telling my grandkids stories of when I lived in a village in Nepal for a year... HAHA.
As 2019 is coming to a close and 2020 unleashes I'm reflecting a lot on this year. I have grown immensely in just the past few months. Life is very fun right now! I feel so deeply connected with myself after going through ups and downs in high school. I feel more connected than ever to my purpose... I know now that I want to pursue an academic and professional life in service of people tackling global challenges affecting the most marginalized of folks. I hope I remember how I felt during these months for the rest of my life. I have some hopes for the coming year as well.... I hope the rest of my experience in Nepal will be as exciting, fun, and intense as the past few months. I hope that my transition to college in August will be a smooth one; I'm very excited for college! I want to continue on the trajectory I'm on and be prepared for any upcoming challenges ahead.
In two weeks time I will be returning to Kathmandu and boarding a flight headed home to the Bay Area, where I'll spend a few weeks before returning to Nepal. My stomach churns at the anticipation of the reverse culture shock.... I can already feel how surreal and amazing it will be to spend a few weeks back home.. but I also anticipate being disillusioned by the excess, in stuff, negative energy and people, and stress in my former life and excess in general in Western countries. I also anticipate the difficult readjustment when back in Nepal, especially transitioning back into Nepalese village life after being home...Mostly though I am excited to be home, even if its just for a bit. I think no matter where I travel or go in life, the Bay Area will always be home. If you are around Jan 17-Feb 9 I would love to meet with you. Please reach out to me :)
I will write to you all in a bit with an update on my library project with photos. Thank you again to everyone who contributed; it has gone such a long way!
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!
Manju