an incredibly culturally immersive, challenging, and fun week
Part 1- Getting there
The day started with an intensely bumpy, infuriatingly slow 6 hour bus ride from Kathmandu to rural Tipeni The bus moved at an average pace of 10 miles/hour along a muddy path, snaking along rice paddies past small towns and villages. Our trip was frequently slowed by side-trips (organized by the driver unbeknownst to the bus company ) to drop off gas canisters and luxury goods from Kathmandu to remote areas. We also stopped a few times because of flat tires! As it happens during a "traumatic" (I'm only half-joking) intense experience I made plenty of friends. Nothing like feeling you're going to die when the bus tips over at a sharp 45 degree angle!
Part 2- Settling in, celebrations, and making friends
Exhausted from clutching the railing and counterbalancing the tilt of the bus, I finally arrived at the school principle's home where I stayed for a few nights. I didn't get much time to catch my breath because I was immediately led to a fellow teacher's home where I drank fresh yoghurt made from her cow. (In general all the food I've eaten here is fresh, local and organic…delicious if you can get over the fact that you eat the same dish every day!) The principle, whom I call Nirmala Miss, wrapped me in one of her heavy red saris and green bead necklaces so we could go out to celebrate Teej.
Teej is a Hindu festival during which women dance, fast, feast, and go to swim/shower in the river. It’s technically in the name of lengthening the lives of their husbands but in practice this component seems to be lost. The women, usually under the tight watch of their husbands, get to be free (relatively) and dance in the company of friends. I like to think of it as a feminist festival! It was beautiful to watch how older women would pass along this tradition to their younger counterparts, explaining how and why certain things are done.
Since I was a newcomer everyone insisted I dance so as to introduce myself… Awkwardly, I tried to imitate Nepali dance, waving my hands in circular motions and tapping my feet as all the women gawked. It was horrifying and to my relief was quickly over. Again, through these intense experiences you tend to make friends easier. I bonded with many of the women there about our inability to dance. People here tend to stare at me anyways because I am a foreigner. People are curious about me and I am curious about them. In the small town word quickly spread that a foreigner had arrived and that she could speak Nepali! Though I don't feel like a foreigner (and my DNA certainly proves my Nepali-ness).... I am a foreigner to their way of life and culture. My way of life is inconceivable to the people here... I might as well be from Mars.
The next day the women went down to the river to cleanse themselves “of sins” (relating subtly to menstruation). Sitting in the ice melt river they counted to 365 (representing all the days in a year we sin) as they scrubbed dirt and soap over their bodies. I felt uncomfortable at first observing and taking notes (I didn't want to impose) but after I had gotten comfortable it was fun to document. I choose to think of it less as me intruding on their sacred festival and more as me doing anthropological field work. I learned a lot about this festival and took some pictures as well! Something interesting I learned during this experience of observing a cultural ritual was how to ask people questions respectfully.
Another topic. Nepali society has very clear gender roles with very little social mixing of men and women. As such I was advised that I too stick with just the female crowd. To me it felt very childish...but I respect that there are fundamental cultural differences and in general its always best to adapt to the culture of the people you are living with (with some exceptions like beating your students and marrying off at the age of 19). The people here mostly are very warm to me, inviting me over for tea and rice on the daily. I quickly made friends here and it is becomes more and more fun to talk with them as my vocabulary expands. Despite looking very different and feeling a bit uncomfortable at the change in lifestyle at first, the second I arrived in town I felt welcomed and I knew this would become a second home in no time.
Part 3- Teaching
Finally my first day on the job! To say I was nervous would be an incredible understatement. Though I have thought about this day for so long, I felt wildly unprepared.
The day starts with a school-wide assembly during which all the kids chant the Nepali anthem (a very catchy tune I often find myself humming) and a few presentations by kids about their families and teachers. After this the students do some synchronized stretches to start the day. Compared to the free-spirited assembly at my high school this felt like an army doing drills. The school is built on top of a hill overlooking the beautiful mountainous landscape of Bhotenamlang. Small birds chirped in the background as wispy clouds hung overhead. The kids would steel glances over at the strange white woman (me) in the middle of their stretches and when we made eye contact they would quickly look away. I was super excited to get to know these students. They seemed friendly, disciplined, fun, and hard working.
Suddenly, the background assembly music was cut off and uniform inspection time began. My fellow teachers appeared out of the office, brandishing rulers. The playful joyous atmosphere seemed to have evaporated like the clouds overhead. Little kids not wearing the proper shoes or older boys without the right pants are called to the front where they are punished in front of everyone. The sound of the ruler against the kid's backs echoes against the classroom walls as all the other kids watch horrified. The first day I had to excuse myself. Even a week later I have to leave during this part of assembly. Sometimes as I walk along the hallways, I hear teachers slapping their misbehaved students and the subsequent muffled sobs that erupt.... For everyone here this type of classroom management is normal (even encouraged.. sometimes some students of mine ask me to hit other students for misbehaving.. to which I tell them "no hitting in my class. you can hit each other in the next class"). For me there is nothing worse I can imagine doing to a student of mine. I am unsure if I should just respect that we have cultural differences or if I should attempt to tell the teachers and students about the negative affects of this type of violence....
Finally this joyful and intimidating morning assembly session ended and classes began. Clutching my lesson plan, I stepped into the classroom as 15 small faces awaited me. Every day I am greeted by a synchronized (friendly but eerie) "Good Morning Manju Miss! You are welcome in our classroom." I introduced myself, switching between Nepali and English, explaining where I'm from and what I'm doing here. I've also had to lie about my age telling the kids I'm 25 so they respect me (I have a 19 year old in my 5th grade class who shouldn't know that her teacher is one year younger than her!!) After getting a sense of their level of English, I realized it was not even close to what I had hoped and planned for. I discarded my grammar lesson plans and improvised some easy get to know me games. As class progressed I started to get the hang of it and somehow (thank god) everything came together. Before I knew it all the kids and I were chanting repeat after me songs, writing short essays, and having informal conversations in English. I try to infuse some fun and lighten the mood. To be completely honest I still don't really know what I am doing. I often make activities and homework up on the spot...but it seems to be working so far.
This experience has made me so appreciative of all the care and attention I received at school growing up. I was encouraged to believe in myself. Something that really shocked me about the teaching system here is how little creativity and independence is valued. The kids don't really know how to think for themselves and the kids definitely don't believe in themselves. When I ask them to free-write, they end up copying textbooks passages. My students (and most students in Asia) are accustomed to passive learning methods...."repeat after me" chants, memorization, and copying texts. The second I try to introduce active activities relating even remotely to creativity I get pages as blank as their faces. I am trying to get them to slowly think for themselves.
The teachers here (who despite our many differences have become my friends) don't really want to be teachers and didn't intend to be teachers. Most of them are just doing this to pay the bills...then again teachers only get payed $150-250/month. Most teachers have to run a business on the side to survive. Along with raising kids and household responsibilities, this comes to be an unbearable workload. It is no wonder then that the teachers are not invested in their students or their jobs. Many have only finished off high school.
I would be lying to you if I said teaching was all easy and fun. The reality is that teaching is an exhausting whole body, mental workout. Some days are an amazing high, some are miserable, and others are just fine. I do have quite the workload; I teach 5 classes back to back, with 15 students in each class. At the beginning of the day I am full of energy and try to work with the kids in creative ways. We practice dialogues, do art projects, and write texts. By the end of the day I am invariably tired, usually with a headache from the heat. Teaching is fulfilling and fun but also be frustrating. Our lack of shared language (my Nepali level is basic and their English is well.........eh) makes explaining concepts and games very difficult. I wish I could upload English into their brains like a computer program! I've lost my cool a few times but I have to remind myself it is not the kids' fault. It's not even really the teachers' faults. Even the textbooks have incorrect spelling and grammar. It is a deeply rooted systemic issue!
This first week of teaching was both exciting and difficult. I was shocked at the level of English in many of the classes. There are a few 8th grade students who have difficulty even writing a basic sentence. Though most of the kids can read passages, most if not all, don't understand a single word of what they are reading. Most of the kids fail their English exams and some students, so discouraged by these scores and burdened by family duties, cut school and fall further and further behind... In each class there are a few students that I have become quite fond of. They come to my homestay after school for tea and we talk in English. I'm inspired by their dedication to learning English and their curious friendliness. Generally, all the kids here are very polite and eager to learn. And very very cute at that too.
Part 4- What it is like to live here
My week here has been simple and beautiful. I was expecting this transition to be rough but I feel very content and happy. Sure I may not like eating rice and lentils every day but so it is. Sure squat toilets and bucket showers are not ideal but they work fine. And yes I don't really know how to wash my clothes by hand without completely soaking myself in water and soap....but it is all a matter of adjustment. Frame of mind. Stepping back from it though, this way of life is as far from my life in California as you can imagine. I don't feel uncomfortable though. People tend to think "third world" and think of misery... though the conditions might not be ideal, it is just the way of life here. Not something that needs to be "developed' or fixed by a "Westener".
People here are incredibly hard working and polite. They are friendly and warm but also tough and resilient... no bullshit people. They hike for hours to get to school and work the fields for hours to feed their livestock and their families. There is not much time for relaxation. Once the boys are old enough to work the fields, many drop out from school to help their families or go abroad to work in factories. Just like the food here, the people are simple, hearty, and warm. The community here is tight-knit...everyone knows each other and most people seem to be somehow related to each other. When someone needs urgent medical attention, the whole village comes together to fundraise a hospital trip.
Though people appear happy, this community has dealt with so much pain. Through various conversations, I've learned about how the people and spaces here were affected and shaped by the Nepalese civil war and 2015 earthquakes. During the civil war (a complicated political scene that I don't really understand) many people here were executed. Everyone here suffered terribly during the 2015 earthquakes. People were homeless, living in small makeshift wooden shacks for two years. The dead (there were many fatalities in this village) were piled up on a field until aid finally arrived. This district was statistically the most affected by the earthquake. One older woman I was speaking with at the Teej festival had lost four of her grandchildren in the earthquake and another woman explained to me tearfully that her husband, a school principle, was killed.Though it completely broke the people and disturbed way of life here, people are starting to rebuild their lives. I'm so inspired by the matter-of-fact resilience and strength (both physical and mental) of the people here....
Though I want to have these conversations with people to understand how this community was affected I am never fully prepared to handle the emotional weight that comes with these responses. Even in writing this right now I can't believe this is a reality that I am witnessing and am now a part of.
Today I learned a lot about my students and their families. Many of my students are orphaned/ abandoned by parents in pursuit of economic opportunities in the Middle East as laborers. One random four year old street-kid wanders the hallways of the school all day crying for her mother who left her a few months ago to go work as a maid in Kathmandu. One of my students in the 8th grade has a mother who is currently fighting an intense form of stomach cancer but is not able to afford treatment. Another student of mine just recently lost her mother to suicide. Yet another was sexually abused by family members. I could go on.
Some days I feel very inspired and excited but today I felt defeated and horrified at the pain these kids endure.
These stories color the lives of the kids here. Understanding where the students come from and what they've been through has helped me to understand them better. An unpredictable, violent home life can often lead to sad, crippled kids with no desire to learn. Conversely, many of my best students come from the worst home situations. Somehow their escape from all the negativity and violence they face is educating themselves. I see the effort they put in and try to support these kids as much as possible.
Though it is has only been a week, I feel like I have already been very much affected. I am more calm, more humbled, intensely aware of my privilege, and also generally more happy. Life is simple here... only a few clothes to wear... only a few things to do. I feel the happiest I have in a while. It has been an incredibly culturally immersive experience.. often I feel like I am dreaming or this is all some cheesy movie playing in my mind's eye. Just like my bus ride to get here, it hasn't been a smooth ride... These intense realities are so different from everything I know. These stories weigh on my chest and often move me to tears. But I already feel how incredible this experience has been for me. I have learned so much. I'm just excited for what is to come!
Thank you for reading if you have made it this far :)